The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
