Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
