I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
