this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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