I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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