i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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