Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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