just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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