real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
