Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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