Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
