Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just want nice things and good sex
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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