i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
