my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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