its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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