So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
