True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
