it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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