I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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