Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
