That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
