can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
