Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
