real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
