I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I have post one night stand depression
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
