in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
