Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize