and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
