I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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