saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
