just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize