someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
