I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Let's paint friendship bongs
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize