Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
