I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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