Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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