Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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