Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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