So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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