I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize