In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
