I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
