Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
