Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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