Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
