we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
where are my eyebrows?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
