so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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