When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
