Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
