There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
