piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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