I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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