She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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