He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
