she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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