Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize