Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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