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• (805): View more from California

  i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone

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• (850): View more from Florida

  The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me

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• (936): View more from Texas

  So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.

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